One more day

Tomorrow's my big day. Where I get all my answers. I can't tell you how hard it is to be at home these days. I am conveniently busy all the time. Golf game after work today? You freaking bet. No? OK, I'll go work out. Or go to some kind of civic group meeting. I'm going out of town next week and I'm so glad. I just want to be left alone.

I'm nervous and scared. I'm scared about what is going to happen when he finds out I'm leaving. What if something happens and he won't let it happen? Can he do that? Do I have to stay? Do I have a choice? Right now it just doesn't seem possible. I can only hope for the best.

Last night he did something disgusting that he does (I can't remember what it was now) and I made that face I make when he totally grosses me out, and he said something along the lines of that I was stuck with him, I had to deal with it. Why am I stuck with him? Who says so? Don't I have any say in the matter? I don't want to be stuck with him anymore.

Oops, just remembered, I have to make an appointment with a counselor. I'll write more later.